2026 oracle

the millennial girlboss/consultant reenters corporate america

Because you all were so nice, and the 2025 audit reception was overwhelmingly positive, I’m publishing twice in a week to bring you predictions for 2026. It pays to be a curious cat—satisfaction brought it back.

In case you missed the 2025 audit, you may read it here:

Not always right, but never in doubt

Anyway, without further ado.

2026 IN/OUT

going grey; balayage / bottle blonde (6-week touch-ups in this economy??)

table tennis / pickleball

corporate america / self-employment

midtown (murray hill, specifically) / bushwick

cashmere and/or wool under-layers / uniqlo heattech

slopaganda / knowing how to read

active hobbies (e.g., ballet, horseback riding)/ working out; gyms

health misinformation / herd immunity

warm foods / cold plunge

GLP-1 pills, next-gen peptides (e.g., triple G retatrutide) / GLP-1 subq formulations

monitoring the situation / reacting

traditional chinese medicine (TCM) / chinese peptides

fiber + psychobiotics / protein-maxxing

mini skirts / midi skirts

oil, fossil fuels / electric cars

libs having kids / MAGA

colorectal cancer / charcuterie

fat grafting, transfer / breast implants

being uninsured / rural hospitals

my dog loves the taste of wool

What do you think about these predictions—do you agree or disagree? What do you think will happen in 2026? When I asked friends and lovers for their 2026 thoughts, TRM petitioned for golf to be out. Someone is betting on lower country club initiation fees if golf becomes passé.

xxsem