YOUR BEST AMERICAN GIRL
i've got a bone to pick with anti-woke tech bros + la cabra
Hi, happy Wednesday. Today’s letter has Mitski, people-pleasing, insecure anti-woke macho men, sourdough I love and sourdough I hate, LA breakfast burritos, recent NYC go-tos, and where you can find me next week. Like everyone else you know, I went upstate last weekend! So I also share some upstate favorites, including an off-grid cabin by a pond that you can book for a ~*glamping*~ experience.
WHAT I’M INTO
Press Play: “Your Best American Girl” by Mitski
You could find me on the West Coast for most of September. First for my high school best friend’s wedding, then for Mitski’s concert at my favorite music venue (Hollywood Bowl) with my wasian sister (ARW).
Mitski entered the zeitgeist over a decade ago but nearly quit music altogether in 2019. Her reasons were valid, but a loss that would have been! The beauty of Mitski’s music is that teens will come of age, lose their innocence, mourn loves lost, and find solace in her ballads forevermore. She commands the stage like a panther while adorning her most vulnerable moments in bright lights and performance art. I chose “Your Best American Girl,” because she didn’t include it in her setlist. Instead, I listened to it on the Red Line home after the concert. LA is accessible by public transit if you’re up to the challenge, by which I mean parking your car a few metro stops away, and then walking 15m from Hollywood/Highland. “Your Best American Girl” lures you in with the strum of an acoustic guitar before killing the American Dream to a cacophony of distorted guitar growls and feedback. You can have it all in this song, but you can’t make it work with the one you love. Press play and imagine the LA sun has set behind the Hollywood Hills, leaving behind brisk autumn air, and you’re sharing giant green grapes with a good friend. Like many of us, the deepest form of love Mitski chases is her self-acceptance.
Borrow from ur public library: I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jenette McCurdy
Familiarity with Jenette’s work on iCarly or Sam & Cat is not a prerequisite for reading this book. Something I liked about her approach in I’m Glad My Mom Died is how her storytelling reflects her age in each chapter—from the innocence of her formative years to her yearning for autonomy in her teen years, to post-therapy clarity. McCurdy wastes no words as she walks us through how her mother exploited her for fame and money and the eating disorder her mother bequeathed to Jenette. She’s a trained people pleaser to her core. She dissects her mother’s microexpressions with clinical precision, subjugating her own desires to keep the peace. But that changes with her mom’s passing. What could easily have been a tragic narrative is instead delivered with sharp humor and captivating honesty, making I’m Glad My Mom Died as darkly funny as it is powerful.
Anti-algorithm news: “The cultural power of the anti-woke tech bro” by Rebecca Jennings (Vox)
The Don’t Tread On Me contingent has evolved. What was attributed to fighters in the American Revolutionary War made its way into songs, US soccer teams, and symbolized libertarianism and calls for small government. American libertarianism is now commandeered by the incel-adjacent, anti-woke tech bro who thinks he’s got it all figured out. The joke is that he’s parroting Silicon Valley influencer talking points and not exactly a “free-thinker.” When describing the Cybertruck, Jennings points out that it’s in the minority of cars without curves, it can’t be compared to a woman’s body. I don’t even hate the Cybertruck! But I don’t have much sympathy for people who hate women.
Jennings explores this cultural evolution, peels back the onion, and reveals what they truly are: insecure schoolboys seeking validation in money and women. She speaks with other journalists to build this story, which yields this perfect quote by Helen Lewis.
You have anti-woke moisturizers, anti-woke plunge baths, all this self-care which feels very feminine, so you have to put a macho spin on it to make men feel okay about it.
This is funny to me because many of the rituals they’ve adopted have huge buy-in in wellness spaces, which women historically rule. In fact, some of the most free-thinking, alternative, self-sufficient-living-off-the-land homesteaders I know are